Bad updating, sorry.

I've been working all week and I'm pretty tired.

Tonight is dedicated to chillaxation, I'm thinking glass of wine and a minor Nip/Tuck marathon.

I've already poured the wine, hence the happiness

Peace out

Someone should pay me for all the free advertising I do on this blog.

Yes, yes. You think I've had enough beer.

Well, you obviously know nothing about enjoying life, something I happen to be pretty great at (at times).

Pistonhead summer brew. Not only is this probably the coolest can-design ever made, the beer itself is absolutely amazing. Lay your hands on a can if you come across one, which I doubt you ever will.

Too bad.

I've had such unbelievably good flow lately, everything's been going my way.

Now, unfortunately someone noticed my luck and decided that I've been surfing on the wave of fortune for too long...

O2 and Bank of Scotland are causing me trouble.

False bills and suspended account access (since it's apparently suspicious to access your online accounts when you are abroad) = hours on the phone, being passed around between incompetent seemingly lobotomised members of the phone support team.

I swear, If I need to hear the phrase "Please hold for a few minutes while I transfer you to an other department" one more time, I will invest in a woodoo doll.

Travel guide to Prague.

Think of the Czech Republic.

You immediately think of barbed wire, cabbage and giant liver spots.

Think again homie.

Prague is the Rome of eastern Europe, only cheaper, in several ways...

In fact, this destination is probably the cheapest, most stunning choice of holiday location you will come across, for maximum effect, follow a few simple guidelines as listed below.

1. Select your travel companions carefully.

You should preferably be looking for a crowd with the characteristics of being immensely funny, very thirsty and completely dedicated to indulgence of kookiness.

2. Fly with Ryan Air.

This is as previously mentioned, the ass hole of the flight industry, but the annoying side effects of the unbelievably low price can be significantly numbed by a great mood and the intake of alcohol.

3. Don't bother with a metro card, walk instead.

What ever street you happen to walk down is an experience in its own. The architecture of Prague is breathtakingly beautiful and besides, by walking around you will find the coolest buildings and the best pubs.

4. Stay hydrated.

Prague is known for its great beer, and it would be a sin not to indulge in the fluid gold of the Czech Republic. You will be happy to see that 0,5 litres of beer can be as cheep as a bag of potatoes on sale at farmfoods (£0.8).

Drinking less than ten beers a day is not recommended, and the consumption should preferably be spread evenly throughout the day. Start after breakfast, or before if you are hard core.

5. Be ware of the Czech cuisine.

You may already have heard the common saying "Czech food is sometimes (read rarely) well tasting, and the recipes remind of something your great grandmothers old mother may have liked (if the country was at war and there was nothing else to eat)" This is true.

However, there are a few pearls in the disappointing haystack of Czech food.

Check out Jama mexican steak house, the best flame grilled burger you will have ever had between your jaws.

And Kmotra Pizza restaurant, award winning stone oven baked pizza in an old vault. Really low prices. A meal here will make anyone smile, and possibly even dance around in happiness and delight.

6. Visit Harleys bar.

The home of Prague Ink tattoo studio, and the best XXXL cocktails you can imagine. The creative interior and the atmosphere makes it a MUST to visit. Get a tattoo if you feel brave. Maybe one of a pig in a pirate hat (no names mentioned, but it wasn't me).........

7. Absinth is overestimated.

Sure, go ahead and try it. When in Rome...

Remember though, this should not be a substitute for beer.

It doesn't make you hallucinate (its a shitty myth, don't buy it), its main purpose seems to be tearing up your intestines and it may also cause irresponsible actions.

8. Don't climb the lamp posts.

It may seem like a good idea at the time, but in 98% of the cases you will fall down and hurt your bum. Gravity, you know?

9. Drink, walk, drink, walk, drink, walk, drink

I am sure you get it. Stop every time you see a cosy place with cheap beer, have a drink, then continue sight seeing. I assure you, everything becomes intensely beautiful, funny and harmonic when you work this way.

Hey,

I'm in Prague.

Where are you?

My room looks like a war zone and my mother isn't proud...

But hey, the sun is shining and I am off to Prague with some of my best mates, so naturally, all is good in the hood! I will be drinking ungracious amounts of beer, eat suspiciously dodgy looking food, walk back and forward over the Karlsbridge and laugh until I pee.

Then I will probably have an other beer and laugh some more.

So long!

Today we celebrated the birth of Henrik, one of the best brothers ever made.

We went to the ocean for a picnic and some family celebration time.

Mighty fine!

.

Good things:

I had cake for breakfast

I am going to Prague tomorrow

I am going to drink a lot of beer the next few days

I have been really busy, cos I've been working.

Dad built a new garage and I've been painting the darn building. It's taken me ages.

Henrik and Kristoffer laid the pantiles, I painted and Freddie drove the machines to move us around. Mum brought us coffee and dad was the work leader.

Family business.

good thing:

I'm going to Prague on Wednesday.

bad thing:

The bunny urinated on me...

Spent the evening at a lovely dinner party in the woods, surrounded by horses and barbecued food (no horse meat). Later on the action moved into town and down to the harbour where we enjoyed some live music in the warm summer night. Went to bed at five this morning when the sun was already shining.

Chilled with bunny, whos name is Doris/Dragon/Mauritz/Agneta (we have difficulties agreeing on a name)

Now I am off to a dinner party in the woods.

So long!

How cute is Freddie?!

I wish he'd stay like this forever.

Then he would always obey me, draw me pictures of tractors and chickens, make me coffee and bring me the things I'm to lazy to get myself.

I am dreading the day he becomes a rebellious teenager and realises that in fact, he has no obligation to do as I say...

I will have to make the most out of my fortunate situation while I still can.

Instead of having to rely on my facebook liks to the blog (which are sometimes unreliable) you should Follow my blog with bloglovin!

Seriously, this is a great great thing.

Check it out.

34 degrees in the sun.

I have already cleaned the kitchen (my job), now Henrik has to do his (cut the grass) before we go pick mum and dad up at the airport.

Since my duty is done I can relax, while he is sweating like onion in a frying pan.

Bet he wishes he got up a little earlier, when it wasn't so godforsakenly hot.

Elin is leaving today, she is going back to Australia.

The Kangaroos noticed her absence and called her to say that she needs to come back immediately.

I am of course secretly hoping that she will tell em' to kiss her Swedish ass and go die outside the opera house (fingers crossed).

I'll give you a semi nude shot of my best friend.

I may even upload a total nudie once she is gone and can't slap bacon in my face for doing it.

We'll see, I might just be totally heartbroken and just cry and cry and never be myself again, and then of course I won't upload anything, I will simply find comfort in Chakana. And eventually die.

Norway kind of sucks

This is how god damn hot it is in Sweden right now (weather forecast. It's a map of Sweden for those of you with very poor geography skills). It's only the area towards the Norwegian border that is cool, but then Norway kind of sucks, so what can you expect?

This is how exhausted it makes you.

My brotha' from the same motha' (sorry. just felt like it) cooked me pancakes for dinner and then took off. So now I am home alone, even the dog has wandered off and left me, but it's okay cos I am absolutely exhausted from a day in the sun with Fia and Astrid. Think I may just chill in my bed with a movie and possibly a drink. Maybe a whisky.

Holy mother of Faz, what a marvellous idea! I will raid dad's whisky collection before he returns tomorrow.

God, I am so damn smart sometimes.

If you were here right now you would see the smug and satisfied expression on my face.

AAAAAHHH!

We have no internet connection. It seems to be some serious problem according to the broadband company, who’s entire staff by the way seem to suffer from severely decreased brain function. It may be due to the heat, I am not sure.

I suspect the broadband cable has been cut by some dumbass old farmer in the local hood. He probably thought it was a snake, then realised his mistake and tried to fix it with tape. Or maybe he was digging himself a hole and hit the cable. You just never know with these demented old farmers, they get all sorts of ideas and you would be surprised to know how many of those are shit. Anyway, whatever the farmer did to deprive me of my civil right to internet connection, I just don’t see how it can take seven days to get it fixed!

GAAAAAHHH! People on the countryside are so unbelievably effing slow!

I just wanted to share this little thought with you.

Ps. I have managed to lay my hands on a little portable internet connector (or whatever they are called), hence this blog post.

Sweet mother of Faz! I have been chasing chickens across the farm.

They have no discipline, those wild chicks.

Very hard too keep em under control.

They just don't have any respect for the authority (me).

Roast chicken seems like such a great dinner suggestion right now.

I've got the power!

Someone died in this lake.

Apparently they just found the corpse, which means I can stop looking anxiously for potential limbs floating around. The rumors say it was a Polish guy, drunk out of his mind, who thought it would be a good idea to take the boat for a ride..

Poor fella, he thought he could drink like a Swede. ”When in Rome” he probably said to himself when he opened the second bottle of Absolut and downed it. Aw honey! Didn’t your mother tell you it takes years of practice and some pretty strong DNA? God bless you.

It’s not for everyone. And besides, getting in a boat when you can’t even stand straight is probably more stupid than the new burka law in France.

We swim a lot. And when we're not in the water we usually, eat, drink, or sleep, or just chill.

My thermometer shows 29 degrees right now.

In the shadow.

What better thing is there to do than go to the gym?

I have to face the facts, I will be sweating whatever I do so why not push it?

Go all in and sweat like a mother on fire!

Or in labour.

But birth is associated with so much glory and joy.

I doubt this will be.

A mother on fire feels like a more suitable choice of expression, you know?

The best thing right now:

Football world cup is finally over which means I don't have to put so much effort into avoiding the shite.

I can proudly announce that I didn't watch a single game. Not even the smallest fragment of a game. Nothing. Not a single minute wasted on looking at shorts wearing, ball hunting men.

Yes, I am a little bitter that Sweden didn't even make it.

Mum, dad and Freddie flew to Austria and I had to substitute their presence with a fantastic weekend spent with Emmo, Fia, Wille and Jens, in the name of summer, sun and slight drunkenness (A very long sentence, I am aware of that).

I won't even get into details, there are too many, besides; I am currently a little exhausted by all the fun, beer and sun. And barbecued moose. And table dancing. And Chardonnay in my bikini. And lack of sleep. Mainly lack of sleep, I think.