Dibs.
Well, that’s her stage name. I won’t reveal her real one (that information is reserved for a special selection of people only. You don’t qualify. Sorry.).
I first met Dibs and Martin in 2006 when fortunate circumstances brought us together. We all worked in a rather fancy hotel/restaurant/wedding venue, where the polished appearance of the staff was of highest importance. Behind the scenes we performed a completely different and rather uncivilised acting… Actually, we occasionally did that publicly too.
Our summer (one I will never forget) involved food fights (in an exclusive 17th century dining room. I think we might actually have left some permanent proof of this ), “borrowing” £20 worth of cheese cake , getting pissed during work hours, getting pissed after work hours (on the premises), taking the liberty of utilizing the bed facilities (this only concerned me, as Dibs and Martin stayed there legally), I could go on…
None of these immensely hilarious memories would have been in my collection if it wasn’t for Dibs. I am not saying she initiated all of our careless actions, but she certainly inspired most of them.
Dibs is the person who introduced me to knock-and run, shopping trolley-racing and bean casserole. And she also holds the record (of people in my acquaintance and possibly in the world) in saying “go on, I dare you to do it” (a rough estimate would be about 8736726 times) I usually chicken out. You will just never be bored around Dibs. She is unbelievably funny. 98 % of the time she is consciously hilarious, and the other 2% she is funny without knowing she is.
Dibs in a nutshell is best explained through her texts which usually go along theses lines:
Hey cock face!
Sorry I can’t make it tonight, I am just shattered after work and I have to go home to do the house work, the flat is an absolute mess. Also I need to go down to the pet shop by the beach to buy more sawdust for the guinea pigs. Tomorrow is also really busy day as I finish work at five and then have to watch the X-factor at seven. Unfortunately I won’t be able to see you on Thursday either since I have badminton and I promised Martin I would buy teabags, so Friday won’t be a good day either. But you could come round on April the 3rd for tea, I am cooking bean casserole. Or if you want you could come on June the 5th 2012, we could watch a movie and me and Martin could walk you home, how does that sound?
By the time I have finished reading the battery on my cell pone is usually dead….
There is still one thing we have yet to do (actually there are tonnes but this way it sound more dramatic). THE LIBRARIAN NIGHT OUT!
We have planned this for a while you see. We will go to a charity shop and buy the biggest load of crap we can find (imagine ankle long skirts, shabby knitted waistcoats and blouses in dull colours), as the dot above the i (get used to this expression, I will use it, a lot), we will wear our geek glasses, then we will hit the town and we will shake our asses like no librarian has ever shaked before. WORD.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Come on!
write something, just do it!
anything.
Shout!