Youth

Considering the lack of grace and elegance in my appearance these days, it might be hard to imagine that I was once a dedicated equestrienne (female horse rider). But I was.

Together with Sofia, I brought life and action into the stables of 24 horses and about 15 anal and stuck up ladies who took their business waaay to serious.

The stables were of quite high standard and most of the horses were proposed for dressage competitions. Sofia competed a good deal too, but mainly in show jumping (hard core), I on the other hand hardly ever did. My passion lay in being a general pain in ass which I achieve with great results. Keep in mind that the time I am referring to is when I was at the age of about fourteen (all juvenile behaviour = justified). Sofia and I both went through a good deal of horses so there is no point in getting started on specific ones. They were all pretty wild and we often took them out in the woods, racing each other to a speed where we got tears in our eyes and couldn’t look where we were riding. We regularly got thrown off, and several times one of the horses would just run back home to the stables, with a sore and furious rider running after… anyway that is all boring. The fun stuff happened in the stables where we would frequently make a circus, to the great annoyance of every anal lady present. Sofia would for instance saddle me, and I had to crawl around carrying her on my back, while she took the opportunity to whip my ass (with a proper whip) with such force that I would scream loud enough to make every horse and lady jump high. We once got into a poo fight while mucking out. We started chasing each other and ended up wrestling in a box. I won the fight after pushing Fia’s head into a giant heap of horse shit, all the way through the poo and down to the concrete floor. This resulted in a broken tooth. Oh what a sweet victory. Man was I proud.

I don’t think a day passed without us making a scene or getting up to something inappropriate. I once baked a bread for all of the lovely (anal) ladies to enjoy. Only in the middle of the bread I had planted an old sock which had been lying around in the stables for ages. Imagine their delight when they realised what they had just been eating. Victory!

Ladies were not too amused.

I learned early how make the most of any situation, to be creative and to be a pain in the ass. See, I was destined for a career as an architect.